Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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