Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
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She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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