we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize