She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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