If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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