Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize