if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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