Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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