Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Porn is love you can see.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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