one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize