Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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