his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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