Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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