Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize