Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize