uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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