after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
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You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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