the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize