you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize