the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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