Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Drunk is a universal language darling
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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