he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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