in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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