I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize