Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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