There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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