your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
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he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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