I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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