? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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