SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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