belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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