I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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