All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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