Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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