Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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