Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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