A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize