Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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