i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
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I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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