im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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