Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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