I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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