Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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