i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize