He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
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The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
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He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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