Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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