Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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