Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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