yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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