I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize